Loving Kevin Fish – A Short Story

Kevin Fish was thinking about Sharon Parkes again. Sharon was a cowardly deity with wide hands and dirty toes.

Kevin walked over to the window and reflected on his sunny surroundings. He had always loved beautiful Sludgeside with its quirky, queen-like quarries. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel delighted.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a cowardly figure of Sharon Parkes.

Kevin gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a loving, tight-fisted, squash drinker with curvy hands and skinny toes. His friends saw him as an ordinary, old-fashioned ogre. Once, he had even helped an ice-dancing injured bird recover from a flying accident.

But not even a loving person who had once helped an ice-dancing injured bird recover from a flying accident, was prepared for what Sharon had in store today.

The sleet rained like talking hamsters, making Kevin cross. Kevin grabbed a solid knife that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Kevin stepped outside and Sharon came closer, he could see the short smile on her face.

“Look Kevin,” growled Sharon, with a violent glare that reminded Kevin of cowardly toads. “It’s not that I don’t love you, but I want peace. You owe me 3342 gold pieces.”

Kevin looked back, even more cross and still fingering the solid knife. “Sharon, I admire your eyebrows,” he replied.

They looked at each other with confident feelings, like two knowing, knotty koalas cooking at a very giving bar mitzvah, which had indie music playing in the background and two cold-blooded uncles jogging to the beat.

Suddenly, Sharon lunged forward and tried to punch Kevin in the face. Quickly, Kevin grabbed the solid knife and brought it down on Sharon’s skull.

Sharon’s wide hands trembled and her dirty toes wobbled. She looked ecstatic, her wallet raw like a precious, panicky piano.

Then she let out an agonizing groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Sharon Parkes was dead.

Kevin Fish went back inside and cried for three hours.

The End

 

This story was born from one or two lines of the following poem, which I sketched on the back of a napkin while living in Prague over a decade ago.

Tremendously intense close to the breeze

Unusual and messy regarding the hearth
I poke big dinosaurs beside the giants
Alas! The delight will be born
Odd and unpleasant beyond the water
You grasp intimidating hippos over the mud
Remember! The bad thing is coming
Quite intense alongside the wind
You discover spectacular monsters about the steam
Beware! The madness will head out
orange mysterious
walking free from the world
the subsequent life ready
Exactly where in the end
the goodness
search for love
and miss his changing

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Three Story Ideas and a Poem

A few simple story ideas to share, along with a little poem I wrote while learning to juggle watermelons.

  1. A vicar from Cornwall is delighted when he gets the chance to take part in the final of X-Factor. However, his chances are scuppered when his daughter goes missing. Distraught at losing X-Factor, the vicar packers himself off to the mountains and becomes a hermit.
  2. Sandeep is a killer motivated by lust, who murders teachers and wraps them in toilet paper. Mrs Leeks, a pilot from Denmark, knows she has to stop him. It turns out there are actually two killers working together.
  3. In a world where robots are stand-up comedians, one stud has no choice but to find a crime-fighting sidekick using just his mind. After a long and drawn out battle, the stud saves the day.

And here is the poem…

All numbing about the soil

Very peaceful beneath the rain
I prod vibrant melons beyond the mound
Lord! The sin will continue
Dark and vaporous prior to the sludge
We imagine cloudy symbols in the branches
Oh God! The girl will fade
All numbing about the dirt
We extort warm vapors more than the fire
We Encounter! The dark night is fleeing
backlit unseeing
where in fact the light originates from
a feeling of hazard
That dreams
the guest
make his method
recalling old occasions

Intrigue in the Greenhouse

My current story concept goes a little bit like this.

A retired collector of rare cacti and succulents is targeted by a con man pretending to be in love with her in order to steal her rare plants. What happens when she discovers him cutting stems off her plants in the greenhouse?

I’ve always wanted to set a short story inside a greenhouse. I don’t really have a great reason why other than I’ve always enjoyed spending time in a greenhouse.

In this story, the con man will go to great lengths to get what he wants. I think it makes the most sense to have him work for a greedy corporation, and here are some working names.

  • Coffey Cosmosoft
  • Dale Foreign Innovative Implementations
  • Open Vista Transportation
  • Vang Specialized Implementations
  • Wholesale Of Annapolis

 

Three for the Road

I just wrapped up a short road trip through the Pacific Northwest. Beautiful country. Here are three story ideas I’m working on as a result of the trip.


A brother tries to counsel and console his sister through a difficult divorce. What problems from their past come up, and what happens when the soon-to-be ex-husband shows up drunk?

A preacher discovers that someone who looks exactly like him has been visiting strip clubs. How does he deal with his church members who lose faith in him, and what does he do when he finally hunts down his double and confronts him?

A wealthy marketing executive in Northern California wants to buy a motorcycle but his wife is opposed since her father died on a motorcycle. Does the executive buy a motorcycle or not, and how does the wife respond?


And here are some possible names for the sister in the first story idea. She is the one going through the difficult divorce.

  • Aimee Raquel Wilder
  • Beverley Carmela Farmer
  • Cherie Freida Harrell
  • Claudette Geraldine Castillo
  • Dawn Bradford
  • Deana Justine Martinez
  • Elizabeth Gina Barrett
  • Elvira Sallie Benton
  • Enid Crawford
  • Erma Warner
  • Essie Minnie Sargent
  • Evangeline Hanson
  • Felecia Colon
  • Felecia Sofia Riley
  • Felicia William
  • Francisca Pugh
  • Greta Megan Hodge
  • Helen Frazier
  • Holly Suzette Armstrong
  • Ila Jacklyn Maxwell
  • Inez Lenore Harrington
  • Jacquelyn Sophia Glover
  • Janine Marina Haley
  • Josie Earnestine Ortega
  • Julie Florence Carr
  • Julie Lorrie Chandler
  • Krista Tonia Black
  • Ladonna Cassie Love
  • Lara Alford
  • Letha Lorna Mcgee
  • Luella Lucinda Barton
  • Mae Odonnell
  • Margaret Phillips
  • Myra Le
  • Myrtle Stokes
  • Nadine Kemp
  • Naomi Dora Mcpherson
  • Natalie Levy
  • Paula Casandra Doyle
  • Rhoda Adela Nixon
  • Rosa Padilla
  • Rowena Raymond
  • Sheila Walls
  • Simone Avery
  • Toni Beverly Wooten
  • Trina Hunter
  • Ursula Simone Todd
  • Wendy Ila Velasquez
  • Willa Angelica Young
  • Yvonne Abigail Moreno

 

The Seven Types of Story

Christopher Booker wrote a book entitled, The Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories in 2004. Here are his seven plot concepts.

Overcoming the Monster

The protagonist sets out to defeat something that threatens him/her or a group they belong to.

Rags to Riches

A protagonist is in some way misfortunte, usually financially. Throughout the story, he/she acquires things such as power, wealth or a love interest.

The Quest

The protagonist sets out to acquire an object or get to a location, facing many obstacles and temptations along the way.

Voyage and Return

The protagonist goes to a strange land and, after overcoming the threats it poses to him or her, returns with experience.

Comedy

A humorous character faces conflict that becomes more and more confusing, but is at last made plain in a single clarifying event.

Tragedy

The protagonist is a hero who makes a mistake that brings about his/her downfall, evoking sympathy.

Rebirth

An important event forces the main character to change his/her ways, often making him/her a better person.

I’ve also collected a few simple story ideas for this Summer that follow these plot frameworks.

  1. A pilot from Denmark is delighted when he gets the chance to take part in the final of Bake Off. However, his chances are scuppered by an angry tiger. Despite everything, the pilot wins the competition and becomes a global celebrity..
  2. An author from Liverpool is delighted when she gets the chance to take part in the final of a talent show. However, her chances are scuppered when her car breaks down on the way to the competition. After the drama, the author realizes there is more to life than winning a talent show and goes on a picnic with her mother instead..
  3. Charlie is a Jedi from England who falls in love with his golf caddy. The two are separated when the golf caddy catches the flu and has to stay in hospital where she makes new friends. However, Charlie manages to rescue the situation by hacking into his email.
  4. In a world where apes have infiltrated the government, one carpenter has no choice but to protect mankind using the best golf club in the word. After a long and drawn out battle, the carpenter saves the day.
  5. Stafford is a wizard from Japan who falls in love with his best friend. The two are separated when the best friend goes away to war. However, Stafford manages to rescue the situation by slaying a dragon.
  6. When a cowboy from Canada learns the secret to world peace, not everybody is supportive. However, his fortunes improve when his arch enemy gets him a gig at a local theatre. In the end, the cowboy becomes a better person and is admired by all.
  7. In a world where monkeys are warriors, one acrobat has no choice but to leave Facebook using just her mind. Finally, the acrobat has a meaningful chat with the monkeys and they come to an amicable agreement.
  8. In a world where apes have infiltrated the government, one fairy has no choice but to find another planet to colonize by becoming a world leader. Eventually, the fairy forms an army and teaches the apes a little respect.

A Collection of Summertime Story Ideas

An unusual collection of story ideas to celebrate the arrival of July and the height of Summer.


In a world where zombies are stand-up comedians, one comedian has no choice but to assassinate an honorable man by killing his own father. Finally, the comedian has a meaningful chat with the zombies and they come to an amicable agreement.

Matt is a politician from Alaska who falls in love with his step-sister. The two are separated when the step-sister falls into the ocean and loses his memory. Matt turns to drink then accidentally runs his step-sister over.

In a world where vampires are miraculously transformed into heavenly creatures, one orphan has no choice but to kill an elderly man using an infinite stabler. Despite the orphan’s best efforts, the world ends and everybody dies.

When a virgin from Japan develops a fear of cockerels, not everybody is supportive. However, his fortunes improve when his teacher writes a wonderful song. The virgin eventually achieves his goal but finds the results unfulfilling.

Brad is a killer fueled by greed, who murders nurses and wraps them in toilet paper. Lady Megre, a graduate from Liverpool, knows she has to stop him. Eventually, Megre captures the killer and wins a bravery award.

The Lost Brother

I’m working on a new story idea, which goes a little like this:

Two brothers fly to one of the most remote places on earth to search for a third brother. Why did that third brother go there, and what is the conflict between the brothers?

There’s some good debate as to what the most remote places are on Earth, so I consulted this guide: 12 of Earth’s Most Remote Places and Communities from the travel site Atlas & Boots.

I’m settling on using the Kerguelen Islands as the main setting. It is an extremely remote setting — more than 2,000 miles away from the nearest other populated place on Earth. That would make it incredibly challenging to get to. I’m thinking that one of the two brothers is an amateur pilot and part of the challenge he would face is overcoming a fear of flying at night.

The twist to the story is that the third brother has simply created an illusion that he has traveled to this remote location. It will be an elaborate ruse, as he has gone to great lengths to make it seem that he is here. In fact, he’s really living secretly in Manhattan and living a relatively anonymous but lucrative life as a bond trader on Wall Street.

Obviously, the local islanders will be in on the ruse as the two brothers search fruitlessly for their brother. One of the islanders, a pretty young woman named Erika, will fall for one of the two brothers and eventually confess the secret.